Laurie, this stopped me completely. The analogy between apartment hunting and online dating, reading descriptions the way you read dating profiles, looking for clues, is so perfectly observed I actually laughed out loud in recognition.
But it's your closing that I keep returning to. The shift from looking for someone to build a life with to someone who recognises the one you've already built. That reframing is everything. It's what midlife does to love when we let it, it makes us so much more discerning, so much more ourselves.
The grief and the pride living side by side on the day of signing. That's the part nobody warns you about. How the most empowering moments can carry their own particular kind of loneliness.
You always seem to find the thread I was trying to follow, sometimes even more clearly than I could articulate it myself. And you're so right about the grief and the pride coexisting. I was genuinely surprised by how both showed up that day. I think so many of our biggest moments carry a little of each.
Thank you for reading so closely, and for always making me feel so understood. It means more than you know. XO
That’s usually when the best love comes along - when you’ve rescued yourself and already enjoy a full life. Incomplete people attract incomplete partners. You have a much better chance of growing a healthy love with another fully-formed person.
Also, I lived in Boston in my twenties and loved it! I miss the walkable streets. Congrats! 🎉
Happy Anniversary Laurie! It may not have been how you envisioned it, but it’s a great indicator of how far you’ve come and how much we’re capable of achieving, things we could never imagine. Your story serves as inspiration.,
Thank you so much, Nat. ❤️ This certainly wasn't the path I imagined, but I'm deeply grateful for where it has led me. Thank you for walking alongside me and for always being there with generous encouragement. It means more than you know. See you soon!!
You’re welcome! I’m so glad I found you Laurie. It’s strange to feel so close to someone you’ve never met in person but that’s why these connections are so special. I’m excited to head to Boston tomorrow and I’m looking forward to seeing you as well. 💛
Congratulations Laurie! That’s a wonderful accomplishment and Boston is so lovely. 💕
I’ve been in my little home since 2001 when I turned 36, and I consider it my sanctuary and safe haven. Outside of my family, it’s literally the longest relationship I have. 🤣
It’s a place that taught me how to face my biggest fears, gave me the space to cultivate my creativity and the privacy necessary to heal from trauma.
I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to purchase this home from my favorite aunt, who also lived here for many years as an independent woman. There’s something really special about this place because of her.
I wish you many happy years and beautiful memories in your new home as you create this new chapter of your life and rediscover all the wonderful things about yourself. 💕🏡
Debbie, I absolutely love this. Isn’t it amazing how sometimes the most important relationship we build aren’t necessarily with another person but with the place that witnesses our lives? The celebrations, the heartbreaks, the healing, the becoming...our homes hold all of it.
I especially love that yours carries the legacy of your aunt. There's something so beautiful about knowing those walls have sheltered generations of strong, independent women. Thank you for sharing this. I'm looking forward to seeing what this little home and I have yet to teach each other. ❤️
You're an inspiration on so many levels! Love the online dating analogy, and your raw honesty about the highs and lows of doing it all on your own -- especially the wisdom you've gained about who you are and what you want going forward. Well done, you! xx
Thank you, Alexa! I'm not so sure about the "inspiration" part, but thank you. ❤️ That is incredibly sweet of you to say.
I feel like I am mostly just muddling my way through this season in real time. And somehow, writing about what I discover along the way helps me make sense of it all. If any of it resonates or helps someone else feel a little less alone, then that is the greatest gift!
And I'm so glad the dating analogy landed! I have a feeling there may be a few more essays coming on that front... 😊
Love, love, love this! I feel as though I just went through every step with you! Comparing the real estate process to dating…please know, if I ever find myself in another real estate transaction, I’ll be thinking of you!
Your essays are such a joy to read and written with such simple honesty. I continue to be so very proud of you my friend🩷Congratulations!
You DID go through this every step of the way with me, and I am so grateful for that, Kim. And what I didn’t mention, but absolutely should have, was how those beautiful new pajamas you gave me as a starting over gift became symbols of that whole transition. I swear, whenever I felt uncertain or lonely, putting those on at night felt like a warm hug and a symbol of what I was working towards. Encouragement to keep going. Thank you for this incredibly thoughtful comment, for reading, for your support and, most importantly, for always being there. XO
We were almost neighbors! It is a wonderful city. I meant it when I said I’d fallen in love with Boston. The fact that it’s so walkable. That it’s got both the ocean and the city. I could do without the cold weather, but I guess no true love can be perfect!
So proud of you for making this leap and building this foundation! Any new partner will have to rise to the high bar you've set for your own happiness, as they should. Happy anniversary!
Thank you, my friend. ❤️ It means a lot coming from someone who has known me since sixth grade and has had a front-row seat to so many chapters of my life! Here's to whatever comes next... and thank you for always cheering me on!
As a woman who has bought a house both on her own and with a partner (and then again on her own) I can say the part on my own gave me far more pride and happiness. Something about designing the life and space I uniquely want. And yes, the next partner will enrich it, but not try to take it over….
I love this, Heidi. There really is something uniquely empowering about creating a home that is entirely your own. Every decision, every paint color, every piece of furniture reflecting you and the life you've built. I don't think I fully appreciated how much joy there would be in that until I experienced it myself.
And yes...I couldn't agree more about the next partner. I don't want someone to take over this space—or the life I've worked so hard to create. I love the idea of someone enriching both. You worded that perfectly!❤️
Exactly. I honestly don’t know if I want to live with a man ever again…. I have my daughter my dog and perhaps that is enough. But I’m willing to be surprised……
This is definitely something to be proud of. I love your dating analogies. I’ve always been too much of a nomad, both in living situations and romantic ones to have put down roots until I met my wife (17 yrs ago) and we moved to San Antonio 7 years ago. It’s the longest either of us has lived anywhere as adults. I can only imagine the sense of pride you feel and rightly so. And yes finding that person to share it with is definitely better once you have roots.
Thank you so much, Simon.❤️ I love hearing your perspective because you've experienced both sides of it too! Your description of being a nomad made me smile. It makes finally finding a place (and a person) to stay feel all the more meaningful. You’ve given me hope! Wishing you and your wife many more happy years in the place you've both chosen to call home. To roots!
Laurie, this stopped me completely. The analogy between apartment hunting and online dating, reading descriptions the way you read dating profiles, looking for clues, is so perfectly observed I actually laughed out loud in recognition.
But it's your closing that I keep returning to. The shift from looking for someone to build a life with to someone who recognises the one you've already built. That reframing is everything. It's what midlife does to love when we let it, it makes us so much more discerning, so much more ourselves.
The grief and the pride living side by side on the day of signing. That's the part nobody warns you about. How the most empowering moments can carry their own particular kind of loneliness.
Congratulations on a year in your home, Laurie x
Kiran, this is so beautiful. Thank you. ❤️
You always seem to find the thread I was trying to follow, sometimes even more clearly than I could articulate it myself. And you're so right about the grief and the pride coexisting. I was genuinely surprised by how both showed up that day. I think so many of our biggest moments carry a little of each.
Thank you for reading so closely, and for always making me feel so understood. It means more than you know. XO
That’s usually when the best love comes along - when you’ve rescued yourself and already enjoy a full life. Incomplete people attract incomplete partners. You have a much better chance of growing a healthy love with another fully-formed person.
Also, I lived in Boston in my twenties and loved it! I miss the walkable streets. Congrats! 🎉
Thank you, Mina! I think you are on to something there, and I am beginning to feel that way more and more myself. XO
Happy Anniversary Laurie! It may not have been how you envisioned it, but it’s a great indicator of how far you’ve come and how much we’re capable of achieving, things we could never imagine. Your story serves as inspiration.,
Thank you so much, Nat. ❤️ This certainly wasn't the path I imagined, but I'm deeply grateful for where it has led me. Thank you for walking alongside me and for always being there with generous encouragement. It means more than you know. See you soon!!
You’re welcome! I’m so glad I found you Laurie. It’s strange to feel so close to someone you’ve never met in person but that’s why these connections are so special. I’m excited to head to Boston tomorrow and I’m looking forward to seeing you as well. 💛
Happy Anniversary to an incredibly meaningful milestone!
Congratulations Laurie! That’s a wonderful accomplishment and Boston is so lovely. 💕
I’ve been in my little home since 2001 when I turned 36, and I consider it my sanctuary and safe haven. Outside of my family, it’s literally the longest relationship I have. 🤣
It’s a place that taught me how to face my biggest fears, gave me the space to cultivate my creativity and the privacy necessary to heal from trauma.
I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to purchase this home from my favorite aunt, who also lived here for many years as an independent woman. There’s something really special about this place because of her.
I wish you many happy years and beautiful memories in your new home as you create this new chapter of your life and rediscover all the wonderful things about yourself. 💕🏡
Debbie, I absolutely love this. Isn’t it amazing how sometimes the most important relationship we build aren’t necessarily with another person but with the place that witnesses our lives? The celebrations, the heartbreaks, the healing, the becoming...our homes hold all of it.
I especially love that yours carries the legacy of your aunt. There's something so beautiful about knowing those walls have sheltered generations of strong, independent women. Thank you for sharing this. I'm looking forward to seeing what this little home and I have yet to teach each other. ❤️
You're an inspiration on so many levels! Love the online dating analogy, and your raw honesty about the highs and lows of doing it all on your own -- especially the wisdom you've gained about who you are and what you want going forward. Well done, you! xx
Thank you, Alexa! I'm not so sure about the "inspiration" part, but thank you. ❤️ That is incredibly sweet of you to say.
I feel like I am mostly just muddling my way through this season in real time. And somehow, writing about what I discover along the way helps me make sense of it all. If any of it resonates or helps someone else feel a little less alone, then that is the greatest gift!
And I'm so glad the dating analogy landed! I have a feeling there may be a few more essays coming on that front... 😊
Love, love, love this! I feel as though I just went through every step with you! Comparing the real estate process to dating…please know, if I ever find myself in another real estate transaction, I’ll be thinking of you!
Your essays are such a joy to read and written with such simple honesty. I continue to be so very proud of you my friend🩷Congratulations!
You DID go through this every step of the way with me, and I am so grateful for that, Kim. And what I didn’t mention, but absolutely should have, was how those beautiful new pajamas you gave me as a starting over gift became symbols of that whole transition. I swear, whenever I felt uncertain or lonely, putting those on at night felt like a warm hug and a symbol of what I was working towards. Encouragement to keep going. Thank you for this incredibly thoughtful comment, for reading, for your support and, most importantly, for always being there. XO
What is it about a nice pair of pjs???😊I hope they always give you that nice hug they were meant to give🩷
Boston is such a great city. I lived in the suburbs of Boston for 10 years. What a great story!
We were almost neighbors! It is a wonderful city. I meant it when I said I’d fallen in love with Boston. The fact that it’s so walkable. That it’s got both the ocean and the city. I could do without the cold weather, but I guess no true love can be perfect!
So true! And the good news is that you can always hire a plow!
Love this. Love the honesty and the wisdom gained. Thank you for sharing!
So proud of you for making this leap and building this foundation! Any new partner will have to rise to the high bar you've set for your own happiness, as they should. Happy anniversary!
Thank you, my friend. ❤️ It means a lot coming from someone who has known me since sixth grade and has had a front-row seat to so many chapters of my life! Here's to whatever comes next... and thank you for always cheering me on!
As a woman who has bought a house both on her own and with a partner (and then again on her own) I can say the part on my own gave me far more pride and happiness. Something about designing the life and space I uniquely want. And yes, the next partner will enrich it, but not try to take it over….
I love this, Heidi. There really is something uniquely empowering about creating a home that is entirely your own. Every decision, every paint color, every piece of furniture reflecting you and the life you've built. I don't think I fully appreciated how much joy there would be in that until I experienced it myself.
And yes...I couldn't agree more about the next partner. I don't want someone to take over this space—or the life I've worked so hard to create. I love the idea of someone enriching both. You worded that perfectly!❤️
Exactly. I honestly don’t know if I want to live with a man ever again…. I have my daughter my dog and perhaps that is enough. But I’m willing to be surprised……
This is definitely something to be proud of. I love your dating analogies. I’ve always been too much of a nomad, both in living situations and romantic ones to have put down roots until I met my wife (17 yrs ago) and we moved to San Antonio 7 years ago. It’s the longest either of us has lived anywhere as adults. I can only imagine the sense of pride you feel and rightly so. And yes finding that person to share it with is definitely better once you have roots.
Thank you so much, Simon.❤️ I love hearing your perspective because you've experienced both sides of it too! Your description of being a nomad made me smile. It makes finally finding a place (and a person) to stay feel all the more meaningful. You’ve given me hope! Wishing you and your wife many more happy years in the place you've both chosen to call home. To roots!